i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I want to fling myself into the sun
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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