Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I wear drunk well.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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