The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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