Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Just cropdusted the office
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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