shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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