oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
