U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
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