I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
