you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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