Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
