another moral hangover. fuck.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
