I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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