How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
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So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize