i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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