He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
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I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
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You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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