forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
