Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize