Dual....:-)
so that wasnt chicken after all
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
