"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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