yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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