is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
