i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
