I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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