You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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