she looked like the bat from fern gully.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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