Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
Randomize
