I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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