bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
