you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
