we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
