i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize