Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
there's paper in my vomit.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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