Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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