Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
