Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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