tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
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