dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
