There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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