Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
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