So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
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