ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
