I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
