if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just want to make out with him forever
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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