I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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