Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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