Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
