You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize