No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
