what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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