Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
