Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
