so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
