Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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