In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
