I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
