shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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