YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
